One of the most common gripes people in a relationship or marriage have is how they don’t feel appreciated by their mates. What better way to express the appreciation you have for your significant other, than to catch them off guard and shower them with kind words of admiration? Right?
We challenge each blended family couple to go home tonight, and spend 5-minutes expressing to your partner in detail, how much you appreciate them as a parent, stepparent, provider, and partner/spouse. Be sure to spend this moment communicating about the positive attributes only! If your not too sure how or when to start off the conversation, just make sure the two of you are relaxed. Whether you’re alone or not really isn't a factor. In all actuality - you want to make it a habit to express verbal appreciation to your mate, both in public and in private.
Ok, so perhaps you’re not sure what to say or how to begin the conversation. You can begin the conversation with a “soft start up” that sounds something like “Honey (or Name), I want to share some positive thoughts that have been on my mind...." That's just one example of how you can begin the moment, but be creative. Make sure that you use a soft start up, because this behavior will help to attract the reaction you want from your mate.
Here are some things you can appreciate your mate for: their thoughtfulness, efforts, their work, the way they interact with you or your children, their help, etc.
Why should you validate your mate’s positive attributes?
First and foremost, everyone wants and needs to feel appreciated at some time or another. Learning to provide your spouse/mate with verbal appreciation is a key ingredient to a happy relationship.
Just think, how many times have you wondered if your spouse/mate appreciates having you as a life partner? Or, how they view you or appreciate you as a parent? Acknowledging your mates efforts and contributions as a partner, parent, and provider will help eliminate some of their insecurities. Imagine how it would feel, hearing how wonderful it is having you as a spouse or mate, without having to wonder or ask.
Providing your mate with verbal appreciation is one of the best gifts you can give to your relationship.
A little positive reinforcement goes a loooong way, and may lead to a GREAT NIGHT..No wait...A WONDERFUL NIGHT! (LOL)
Have a great day and a great night. ;-)
A well informed family makes a HAPPIER and STRONGER family!
~The Stepfamily GURU~
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