While all parents should maintain a unified parenting approach in the presence of children, this is especially crucial advice to follow if your raising children in a blended family.
In blended families, it is very easy for children to become well seasoned in the art of conquering and dividing parents when seeking the outcome they most desire. As parents, you want to ensure that you never contradict each others parenting decision in the presence of your children. Whether you and your spouse/partner are both the biological parents of your children or not, keep in mind that arguing or disagreeing openly may encourage them to try to come in between you. Communicate as a couple to develop a plan of action on how you will handle moments when children try using tactics to gain favor over the other parent. Try coming to an agreement that you will both report back to one another behind closed doors to discuss and disseminate any possibilities of your children trying to divide your unified front.
Remember that you and your spouse/partner are the household leaders, and your goal is to close the ranks. Even though the stepparent may not be playing the "boss in charge" early on into the relationship, both parents should have an equal voice behind closed doors when communicating any moments where you feel your children are playing the separation game. If you and your spouse/partner work hard at communicating with each other to maintain a strong outwardly resiliency, your children will hence the understanding that you two are on the same team.
Parenting is not always a picnic, and neither is maintaining constant communication as a couple. Stay strong, and keep in mind that there is always strength in numbers.
Parenting is not about giving children their way, it's about showing them the way!
For questions or advice regarding family communication, please email: ask@stepfamilyguru.com.
A well informed family makes a HAPPIER and STRONGER family!
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